2nd Western Food

Resipi Spaghetti Carbonara 

Minyak zaitun

1/2 bawang besar didadu kecil-kecil

5 ulas bawang putih ditumbuk halus

2 dada ayam besar didadu kecil-kecil

1 botol susu full cream dutch lady

1 tin prego pasta sauce carbonara mushroom

1/2 sudu kecil daun basil kering

1/2 sudu kecil lada hitam ditumbuk halus

1 biji telur - optional (tapi dalam resipi ni Mummy letak)

Parmesan cheese - optional (kalau takde pun takpe)

Garam 

1 paket spaghetti direbus sampai empuk "el-dente"

Cara-cara memasak.

1. Panaskan minyak zaitun lebih kurang agak-agak je. Kalau terlebih pon takpe sebab amat baik untuk kesihatan. Dah panas masukkan bawang besar masak seketika takperlu sampai garing, lepas tu masukkan bawang putih. Dah naik bau, masukkan pula dada ayam yang didadu kecil-kecil.

2. Agak-agak dada ayam dah empuk dan masak, terus masukkan 1 tin prego pasta sauce carbonara mushroom. Kacau seketika. Terus masukkan 1 botol susu full cream dutch lady. 

3. Seterusnya masukkanlah daun basil dan lada hitam. Biarkan mereneh. 

4. Lepas je spaghetti dah masak, masukkan terus dalam kuah carbonara tadi dan masak seketika sampai lembut spaghetti tu ikot tahap kelembutan yang korang suka. Bagi Mummy, I akan masakkan spaghetti tu dengan kuah baru mesra. Waktu rebuskan tu jangan sampai lembut sangat. Lepas tu air rebusan spaghetti jangan dibuang. Ambil air tu untuk jadikan tambahan dalam sos spaghetti yang akan memekatkan kuah.

12 Perkara Semua Orang Mesti Tahu Rokok HARAM

5. Kalau agak pekat sos carbonara tu, tambahkan air dari rebusan spaghetti tadi ikot kepekatan yang korang suka jugak. Tapi Mummy buat banyak kuah. Lepas tu tambah garam dan biarkan merenih lagi. Sampai betul-betul masak spaghetti tu.

6. Tutup api dan terus letakkan telur sebijik yang dah dipukul siap. Kacau rata. Telur ni nak bagi kelemakan dan ia akan masak sendiri dari kepanasan yang membahang spaghetti tu. Kalau nak lemak lagi tambah lah 2 biji telur. Jangan letak telur waktu kuali atas api nanti terus jadi scramble egg pulak. Pastikan api sudah ditutup!

7. Akhir sekali tambahkan sedikit parmesan cheese kalau ada. (Mummy tak letak pon)

Resepi  Ayam Panggang Rosemary

1 ekor ayam
5-6 ulas bawang putih
1 sudu besar daun rosemary kering
1 inci halia
1 sudu besar lada hitam
1 sudu makan jintan kasar
2-3 sudu besar gula perang
2 sudu kecil garam
sedikit perasa
2 sudu besar jus limau
3 sudu besar olive oil ( minyak zaitun)
5 biji kentang
2 biji tomato
6 biji baby carot
sedikit mentega

Cara penyediaan

1. Ayam di potong 4 atau dibiar tidak di potong kemudian dibersihkan. Ketepikan dulu. Tumbuk halia hingga lumat kemudian perah jus halia pada ayam. Gaul rata.

2. Panaskan minyak zaitun. Goreng bawang putih hingga kekuningan. Angkat dan ketepikan dulu.

3. Tumbuk daun rosemary kering hingga lumat kemudian masukkan lada hitam, jintan kasar, tumbuk kasar.

4. Masukkan bawang putih yang telah di goreng tadi kedalam lesung dan tumbuk bersama rempah.

5. Masukkan lebihan minyak zaitun ( masa menggoreng bawang putih ) tadi, gula perang, garam, serbuk  perasa, dan jus limau ke dalam rempah yang telah di tumbuk tadi. Gaul rata. Sesuaikan rasa rempah ikut citarasa anda.

6. Gaulkan rempah tumbuk bersama ayam. Masukkan ayam dalam bag berzip perap dalam petisejuk beberapa jam.

7. Kentang di kopek dan di rebus 3/4 masak . Ketepikan. Lebihan rempah ayam tadi boleh di lumur pada kentang.

8. Susun ayam, kentang, buah tomato, baby karot di dalam tray pembakar. Sapukan sedikit butter pada ayam dan sayur-sayuran dan bakar dalam ketuhar 180- 200 darjah celcius selama 1 jam.

biskut Marry 1kg
mentega saiz kecik
milo packet sederhana
susu setengah tin
telur 4 biji
air(saiz bekas mentega)
gule(saiz bekas mentega)

cara-caranya ialah-:

1)patahkan biskut marry kepada 4 bahagian...(semua)
2)masukkan kesemua mentega dalam periuk
3)masukkan kesemua telur
4) masukkan gula mengikut saiz bekas mentega
5)masukkan susu pekat setengah tin
6)masukkan air mengikut saiz bekas mentega...
7)masukkan milo ke dalam periuk(sepaket kecil)
8)masukkan biskut marry secara perlahan2...
9)kacau sehingga pekat...
10)masukkan ke dalam peti ais(suhu serdahana)..

masak2 hidangn western

ayam bakar serai...

bahan2nya;

ayam potong 4

bhn kisar:

1.2 btg serai
2. 1 inci halia
3. 3 ulas bawang putih
4.1/2 inci lengkuas
5. 2 biji tomato
6. 1 biji bwg besar
7. 2-3 biji cili merah
8. sedikit lada hitam
9.garam
10.gula


perap selama i jam....n bakar pada suhu...200




SHEPPERD PIE

10 biji kentang
1/4 cwn fresh milk
3 sudu besar butter
1 sudu kecil lada sulah
garam


INTI

1 labu bwg besar dicincang
5 ulas bwg putih di cincang
1 biji tomato didadu
1 botol kecil tomato puree
1tin cendawan butang
1 paket daging cincang
2 sudu besar sos cili
daun ketumbar
garam
oregano
blackpepper

CARA2

potong n rebus kentang
lenyek sampai hancur...prefer guna mixer
masukkn fresh milk n kacau sebati...masuk sedikit2
masukkan juga lada sulah

tumis bwg besar n bwg putih dgn butter....masukkan tomato kacau
masukkan daging...tomato puree...cendawan butang...sos cili...kacau
masukkan daun ketumbar...garam, oregano n blackpepper

seterusnya masukkan dlm loyang
1.lapisan pertama kentang lenyek sapuan nipis
2.lapisan inti tadi
3.lapisan kentang
4.salut dgn kuning telur campur pewrna kuning
5.garis2 dgn garpu
6 siap utk dibakar

suhu; 180...


PUDING ROTI

10 kpg roti di salut margerin

3 biji telur
4 sudu besar gula
1 sudu teh esen vanila
1 sudu besar tepung jagung

susu full cream
whipping cream
jirus dlm loyang
tabur kismis

bakar 10 minit suhu 180 ...panas dulu oven ya!

kek puding karamel

Ingredients

RESEPI KEK PUDING KARAMEL PELANGI

Untuk resepi lengkap beserta gambar step by step klik link di bawah

http://e-nalovelykitchen.blogspot.com/2011/10/kek-puding-karamel-pelangi-step-by-step.html

Loyang 8 inci / 20cm

Bahan-bahan untuk Gula Hangus:

• 2 sudu besar gula (boleh buat 1 1/2 sb untuk air gula ngam2 sahaja)
• Loyang 8 inci / 20cm

Bahan-bahan untuk Puding (Rujuk gambar 3)

• 400ml fresh milk / susu cair
• 3 biji kuning telur (Putih telur masukkan terus ke dalam mangkuk pengadun untuk meringue nanti)
• 2 biji telur
• 140 gram gula castor
• 1 sudu kecil esen vanila

Bahan-bahan untuk Kek:

Adunan 1 (Meringue)

(rujuk gambar 6)

• 6 biji putih telur ( 3 biji putih telur dari bahan puding + dgn 3 biji putih telur baru)
• 70 gram gula castor
• 1 sudu kecil cream of tar tar

Adunan  2:

• 3 biji kuning telur ( kuning telur dari bahan meringue tadi)
• 130 ml air
• 50 ml minyak masak
• 70 gram gula castor
• 140 gram tepung gandum
• 1 sudu teh baking powder

Directions

Cara-cara Gula Hangus

1. Masukkan gula di tengah loyang kek, agak-agak di kawasan api dapur supaya senang gula cair. Rujuk gambar 1.
2. Panaskan dengan api perlahan di atas dapur. 
3. Biarkan sehingga gula cair dan bewarna perang dan tidak perlu di kacau. 
4. Bila semua gula sudah hancur tutup api dan ratakan air gula memenuhi dasar loyang seperti gambar 2.
5. Ketepikan dan sediakan pula adunan puding seperti gambar 3. Air gula akan mengeras, biarkan sahaja. Gula ini akan cair apabila di bakar bersama dengan adunan puding dan kek nanti.

Cara-cara Puding:

1. Asingkan 3 biji putih telur dan kuning telur. Masukkan 3 kuning telur di dalam mangkuk kecil (rujuk gambar 3) dan 3 biji putih telur ke dalam mangkuk pengandun(rujuk gambar 6) untuk bahan kek adunan 1 (meringue) nanti..
2. Masukkan 2 biji telur ke dalam mangkuk telur kuning dan kacau perlahan-lahan supaya tidak berbuih seperti gambar 4.
3. Kemudian satukan telur dan semua bahan-bahan di atas ke dalam mangkuk besar. Kacau perlahan-lahan supaya tidak berbuih.
4. Bila semua sebati, tapiskan ke dalam loyang gula hangus tadi. Rujuk gambar 5.
5. Semasa memasukkan bancuhan puding,  gula hangus akan berbunyi seperti kaca pecah.
6. Tidak perlu dibakar dahulu adunan ini.Ketepikan. Sediakan pula lapisan untuk kek bahan 1 seperti gambar  6.

Cara-cara Kek adunan 1:

1. Pukul putih telur sehingga berbuih.
2. Masukkan gula castor dan cream of tar tar.
3. Pukul lagi dengan speed tinggi sehingga kental dan kaku. Rujuk gambar 7.
4. Apabila mangkuk pengadun diterbalikkan adunan tidak tumpah. 
5. Ketepikan. Guna mixer yang sama tidak perlu basuh terus buat adunan 2 untuk kek.

Cara-cara kek adunan 2:

1. Ayak tepung bersama baking powder. Ketepikan.
2. Pukul kuning telur, air dan minyak masak sehingga putih dan gebu.
3. Masukkan gula castor dan pukul lagi sehingga kembang
4. Matikan mixer.
5. Kemudian masukkan tepung gandum sedikit demi sedikit. Kacau dengan senduk kayu secara kaup balik sehingga semua bergaul sebati.
6. Masukkan separuh adunan 1 (meringue) ke dalam adunan 2 seperti gambar 8. Kaup balik perlahan-lahan. Kemudian masukkan semua adunan 1 dan kacau rata secara kaup balik.
7. Bahagikan adunan kepada 3 bahagian sama banyak. Rujuk gambar 9.
8. Warnakan dengan warna pilihan anda.
9. Sudukan ke dalam loyang puding tadi. Adunan kek akan terapung di atas adunan puding seperti gambar 10. Adunan akan bergerak kiri kanan...bila sudah separuh adunan dimasukkan baru stabil.
10. Sudukan 4 sudu besar adunan purple, diikuti 4 sudu besar adunan hijau di tengah adunan purple, 4 sudu besar adunan merah diletak tengah adunan hijau dan buat 4 sudu lagi utk semua warna. (2 pusingan untuk 4 sudu setiap warna)
11. Kemudian 3 sudu besar adunan purple, 3 sudu besar adunan hijau diikuti 3 sudu besar adunan merah sebanyak 3 pusingan lagi.
12. Diikuti dengan 2 sudu besar setiap warna sebanyak 2 pusingan dan akhir sekali 1 sudu besar setiap warna sehingga adunan habis. Hasilnya seperti gambar 10.
13. Panaskan oven 160 degree. (panaskan sekali dgn tray oven yang ada air utk bain marie nanti)
14. Bakar secara double boiler atau bain marie selama 50 minit atau sehingga kek dan puding masak di rak paling bawah dalam oven.
15. Setelah masak biarkan kek di dalam oven selama 10 minit atau sehingga keliling kek lekang dari loyang.
16. Terbalikkan ke atas pinggan dan kek akan turun sendiri.
17. Segera lap lebihan air gula yang meleleh dan di atas puding secara perlahan dan berhati-hati supaya kek tidak basah. 
18. Potong kek semasa kek benar-benar sejuk dan hidangkan. Sedap di makan selepas disejukkan di dalam peti sejuk. Selamat Mencuba dari Lovely Kitchen(http://e-nalovelykitchen.blogspot.com/2011/10/kek-puding-karamel-pelangi-step-by-step.html).

Treatments for Tonsillitis

Treatment for tonsillitis will depend in part on the cause. To determine the cause, your doctor may perform a rapid strep test or throat swab culture. Both tests involve gently swabbing the back of the throat close to the tonsils with a cotton swab. A lab test can detect a bacterial infection. A viral infection will not show on the test, but may be assumed if the test for bacteria is negative.

If tests reveal bacteria, treatment will consist of antibiotics to cure the infection. Antibiotics may be given as a single shot or taken 10 days by mouth. Although symptoms will likely improve within two or three days after starting the antibiotic, it's important to take all of the medication your doctor prescribes to make sure the bacteria are gone. Some people need to take a second course of antibiotics to cure the infection.

If the tonsillitis is caused by a virus, antibiotics won't work and your body will fight off the infection on its own. In the meantime, there are things you can do to feel better, regardless of the cause. They include:

• Get enough rest
• Drink warm or very cold fluids to ease throat pain
• Eat smooth foods, such as flavored gelatins, ice cream, or applesauce
• Use a cool-mist vaporizer or humidifier in your room
• Gargle with warm salt water
• Suck on lozenges containing benzocaine or other anesthetics
• Take over-the-counter pain relievers such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen.

When Tonsillectomy Is Needed

Tonsils are an important part of the immune system throughout life, so it is best to avoid removing them.  However, if tonsillitis is recurrent or persistent, or if enlarged tonsils cause upper airway obstruction or difficulty eating, surgical removal of the tonsils, called tonsillectomy, may be necessary. Most tonsillectomies involve using a conventional scalpel to remove the tonsils; however there are many alternatives to this traditional method. Increasingly doctors are using techniques such as lasers, radio waves, ultrasonic energy, or electrocautery to cut, burn, or evaporate away enlarged tonsils.

As with all surgeries, each of these has benefits and drawbacks. When considering the procedure, it's important to discuss your options with the surgeon to select the most appropriate one for your child.

pada 1 0kt...my son kna admitted di kpj  perdana kota bharu dan dikehendaki menjalani prosedur pembedahan tonsilnya pada usia 4thn...mama jadi neves n kaget sebntar...bahayakah prosedurnya...doc bernama wan shah jihan....alhamdulilah pd hari yg sama jam 10 pg dia selamat di bedah....dan ptgnya jam 4 trus mkn kfc.....n aiskrim of coz aftr surgery...

Warning

• While you can use these techniques on authority figures, such as police officers and military officers, know where to draw the line. Arguing too much on the spot can backfire, even if you have a good case.
• In confrontations especially, emotions can run high. Remember to be respectful and keep a cool head.
• The key to success in confrontations is to use an appropriate tone of voice and the correct words. Speak to someone like you would like to be spoken to!
• Assertiveness is not always practiced in a balanced way, especially by those new to the process. Many people, when trying out assertive behaviour for the first time, find that they go too far and become aggressive. So if it's possible, in the beginning, become a part of an assertiveness or communication skills group
• Try asking first; don't demand things right off the bat. Gather information and make the other person an ally. If that approach doesn't work, then you may put your foot down. Rule out miscommunications first; make sure the person actually slighted you, and knowingly, before you come out with guns blazing.

Tips

Remember to stay calm, don't stomp your feet or make your hands into fists. Make sure you stay relaxed the whole time, in order to keep tensions low.

If you're about to engage in an important encounter, like asking for a raise or getting out of an unhealthy relationship, ask a friend to role-play with you. Practice what you are going to say, and have your friend give you feedback. If you aren't assertive enough, try it again. This works best if the friend knows the person with whom you're about to engage.

If you have to deliver bad news, don't offer unnecessary details. If you explain every single reason for your decision, the other person can use those reasons as negotiation points. Your decision is firm, and this will come across most clearly if you are short and to the point.

Maintain eye contact when arguing your point.

Here are some techniques that are used in assertive communication:

• Broken record - consists of simply repeating your requests or your refusals every time you are met with resistance.
• Fogging - consists of finding some limited truth to agree with in what an antagonist is saying. More specifically, one can agree 'in part' or agree 'in principle'.
• Negative inquiry - consists of requesting further, more specific criticism.
• Negative assertion - consists in agreement with criticism without letting up demand.
• 'I' statements - used to voice one's feelings and wishes from a personal position without expressing a judgment about the other person or blaming one's feelings on them.

Part 3 of 3 = stating your demands

1.Make sure you know what you want out of a situation. Before you go into a conversation where you try to stand up for what you believe, make sure you know exactly what you want. When you talk to your boss, do you want a raise, or simply to be given more interesting work? When you talk to your boyfriend, do you want him to pay more attention to you in general or is it just that you want him to act like you exist when he's watching sports? The more certain you are about what you want, the more likely you are to get it.

• There's no point in having a conversation where you express general disagreement and unhappiness. What are you trying to achieve?

2.Stick to your game plan. Remember your goals and stick to them. Do not veer off course just because the person is not listening to you, belittling you, or trying to torpedo the conversation by acting visibly upset and tricking you into comforting him or her. Keep telling yourself that you went back to the store to get a refund; that you talked to your neighbor to get her to stop playing her music so loudly; that you talked to your boss to stop working with a freeloader who abuses your work ethic.^[4]

• Be a broken record if you have to. Repeat what you want until the person stops trying to derail you and realizes that you're serious.

3.Break patterns. This is another big step to being more assertive. Pick a pattern you're unhappy with and work hard to change it. It could be something small, like your friend always picking the dinner spot or movie you'll watch when you hang out; vow to be the one who decides on a place, next time. It could be a coworker who asks you to grab her lunch when you pick yours up but who always forgets to pay you back; next time, ask for cash up front or don't do her the favor.^[5]

• Breaking the small patterns where you feel like you're being taken advantage of can help you break the bigger patterns, such as the ways that the important people in your life may take advantage of you.

4.Say what's on your mind. Don't be silent if you have something to say. Share your feelings freely: it's your right. Remember, there's nothing wrong in having an opinion. Just make sure you pick the right moment to state your needs. If you really have something important to say, don't say ten other things before you make the big reveal. Make it clear that what you have to say is important and should be noticed.

• Practice in low-stakes situations. Do all your friends love that new TV show everyone’s talking about? Don’t be afraid to admit that you weren’t all that impressed. Has someone misinterpreted what you said? Don’t nod and play along; explain what you really meant, even if the miscommunication was harmless.

5.Learn to say no. If you do not feel right doing something, then don't do it! It's okay to reject someone. (Have you ever been rejected? Did you live?) Remember, for yourself, the most important person is you! If you don't respect your own desires, how can you expect others to?

• You may think that being a people-pleaser will put you on people’s good side, but unfortunately, an overabundance of generosity usually has the opposite effect on people.
• People only value the things they invest time/energy/money into, so if you’re the one doing all the giving, your esteem for that person will skyrocket… but theirs for you will plummet. Take a stand. People may resist at first – or even be shocked by your transformation – but in the end, they will respect you for it.

6.Use "I" statements. Using "I" statements can really help you express what you want without making the other person feel bombarded or defensive. Instead of saying, "You've been making me feel really frustrated lately," say "I've been feeling frustrated lately because you haven't been pulling your weight around the house." Though you're essentially saying the same thing, you make it more about your feelings and your needs instead of making the other person feel like he or she has done something horribly wrong.^[6]

• This works great in the workplace too. Tell your boss, "I'd really appreciate it if you'd give me three days notice before asking me to work on the weekends," instead of "You're making really unreasonable demands."

7.Be more assertive in the workplace. If you want to move up in your career, then you have to know what you want and what you deserve. If you've been working at your company for at least six months or a year, getting paid way less than people in similar positions at other companies, take on additional responsibilities without getting paid any more, or just generally feel like you're being short changed (with good reason, of course), then it's time to have a conversation with your boss.^[7]

• If you don't speak up for yourself, then your boss and coworkers will think that you're just a nice person, or like they can keep on taking advantage of you.
• Make sure you come up with your case first. Before you talk to your boss, come up with at least three things you've done to improve the company, ways that you've gone above and beyond your job description, and how you can help the company grow in the future.

8.Be assertive without being aggressive. There is a line between assertiveness and aggression and you should know when you've crossed it. Some people who are not comfortable with asserting themselves sometimes become aggressive when they finally do because they don't know how to ask for what they want in a calm and collective manner. Don't let this to be you.

• Speak calmly instead of yelling; keep your hands at your sides instead of waving them; be polite instead of name-calling or aggravating a person just because it releases some tension.
• If the airline counter agent tells you that you must pay extra for your heavy bag, don't get angry at the agent! Your beef is with the airline's policy (and possibly your own failure to read the fine print). Instead, treat the agent like an ally. If the policy was made available to you, apologize and ask for an exception. If you were never informed of the policy, say so, and ask for an exception.
• Many people who want to be assertive overcompensate by being aggressive. Being assertive means clearly and coolly communicating what you want, which is the definition of being in control. Being aggressive, on the other hand, means acting pushy and overreacting to small things, which is the opposite of being in control.
• The whole point of being assertive is to get what you want. Aggressiveness, on the other hand, will throw a monkey wrench into your plans, as it puts the people around you into foul, unhelpful moods.

9.Learn to speak up in public. This is the hardest thing of all for some people. You may be comfortable telling your wife or best friend exactly what you want, but when it comes to the check out girl who short changed you or the person trying to get you to sign a petition who won't stop talking to you though you're backing away, you may not have the guts to explain that no means no.

• Being able to tell the waiter your food is cold or to tell a woman that she cut in front of you at the supermarket may be unpleasant, but it will keep you from being mistreated.

10.Kindly ask someone to stop doing something annoying. This is a hard one for most people, and a great step to help you be more assertive. You don't have to get in a big fight over this one; is your coworker always talking too loudly on the phone? Is the guy sitting in the cafe next to you slowly inching over into your personal space? Does your best friend text you fifty times a day even though she knows you're in an important meeting? The sooner you say something politely, the better you'll feel.

• Nicely asking someone to stop doing something annoying is pretty low stakes and can prepare you to have the bigger conversations.
• Just say something like, "Excuse me, but would you mind speaking a little quieter on the phone? I'm finding it a little hard to concentrate." Thank the person when he or she obliges.

11.Agree to disagree. When you're having a conversation, remember that you don't have to walk away agreeing with the person. Sure, parting on good terms is important, but that doesn't mean you have to give in to someone's demands or say, "I guess you're right..." or "Maybe I need to rethink this..." even though you've done your research and know perfectly well that you're right. It's one thing to come to compromise or learn to see another person's perspective, and another to walk away with your tail between your legs even though you know you're right.^[8]

• You can still tell the person that you can appreciate his point of view, but stay firm in your beliefs.
• If you want people to respect you, then you have to work on not giving in, even if you feel "better" about agreeing with someone.

Part 2 of 3 = Adjusting your Mindset

1.Be honest with yourself about what you want. Acting confidently won’t do you any good if you can never make up your mind or are trying too hard to “go with the flow.” People can tell if you already know what you want out of them, and it's much easier for them to do what you ask them if you can tell them clearly what that is.

• Being too accommodating can actually make things harder for people. Whether you're speaking to an insurance agent or a waiter, their job is to serve you and you'll make their job about ten times easier if you know what you want.
• Off-loading decision-making onto everyone else is a passive-aggressive way of shirking your responsibility – and placing the consequences squarely on someone else’s shoulders. (To say nothing of the fact that it’s just plain annoying.) The next time your friends ask you where you want to go to dinner, don’t respond with, “Oh, wherever”; give them a concrete answer.

2.Set firm boundaries for yourself. This is key for going into any kind of conversation where you want to discuss your needs. If you're talking to your boss, have a boundary of not working on the weekends or not working overtime without three days notice; if you're talking to a friend, have a boundary of not picking her up at the airport again until she picks you up when you need a ride; if you're talking to your boyfriend, be determined not to just hang out with his friends until he makes an effort to hang out with your friends.

• Having your boundaries at the forefront of your mind before a conversation will keep you from getting derailed and compromising your needs in the middle of a conversation because it's easier or just helps you avoid conflict.

3.Don't expect people to read your mind. This is a classic mistake of passive people. You may think that your boss knows you want a raise, that your boyfriend knows you think he spends too much time with his friends, or that your mom knows she calls you too much at inconvenient times but ignores that anyway. Unfortunately, more likely than not, people have no idea what makes you upset or what you really want from them. So, don't use the fact that they already know what you want as an excuse that keeps you from having an uncomfortable conversation that may get you the results you want.

• Think about it: if your boss really knew you wanted a raise and hasn't mentioned anything, isn't it time to speak up?
• Consider the people around you. You may know a few people really well, but can you say with confidence that you really know what they want?

4.Take responsibility for your own problems. This is a key step to assertiveness. Passive people often think that their unhappiness at work, at home, or in social situations isn't really their fault and that there's nothing they can do to change things. This is absolutely false. Though you won't be able to change the dynamics of a situation completely with one conversation, you can certainly get the ball rolling by having a conversation that makes your desires known.

• If you wait around for the world to change, like the John Mayer song, you may just be waiting forever. Nothing good will happen until you take initiative.
• Some of this may come out of fear about what will happen if you do get what you want. Maybe you're afraid of what will happen if you do get that promotion, or if you do finally talk to your girlfriend about moving in together.

5.Stop trying to please everybody. This may be one of the reasons why you're so afraid to assert yourself. You must be telling yourself that life would be easier if your wife, kids, boss, coworkers, neighbors, and everyone around you was happy. However, this is just a cop-out, a convenient excuse for you not to express yourself. Sure, nobody wants conflict, but a little bit of conflict is better than a lot of passive aggressiveness, frustrations, and ignored wishes.^[1]

• Sure, your neighbor won't love it if you ask him to stop throwing loud parties. But if you're reasonable, he will understand, or at least he'll try to keep it down the next time he invites people over. Put your desires above your neighbor's -- your need to get a good night's sleep should be more important than avoiding conflict with your neighbor.
• This doesn't mean you should make a goal of having unpleasant, uncomfortable conversations with people every chance you get. But you should make a general rule of focusing on what you want instead of what other people want all the time.

6.Talk to others about what you want to gain confidence. This will help you get some perspective about what you want to say to the people you have to say it to. If you think your boss, friend, boyfriend, or whoever is taking advantage of you, talk to a close friend about it first. Tell your side of the story and you'll gain support and will see that you're not having irrational thoughts and feelings. This will give you more confidence to actually say something.^[2]

• It's important to talk about your feelings, but don't let it turn into a complaining fest. Just because you've gotten your frustrations off your chest by talking to a close friend doesn't mean that you've actually done anything about the problem until you've had a conversation with the person you need to talk to.

7.Stop feeling guilty about not giving people what they want. Guilt is another motivating factor that may keep you from having a meaningful conversation about what you want. You may feel guilty for talking to your messy roommate about cleaning up her space or about talking to a coworker about his negligence on the job, but these conversations are necessary and need to happen. A little bit of guilt will be worth the satisfaction of actually getting what you want.^[3]

• Some people will even use guilt as a tool to keep you from sticking to your side of the argument. Don't let them do this.

8.Know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. Like anything else in life, being assertive is about balance. If the waiter made a mistake and brought you something you're allergic to, speak up – and keep at it until the problem is corrected. But if a cashier growls at you, it's not your job to educate them on manners and customer service, so let it go. It's important to get what you deserve in life, but it's just as important to understand what it is that you deserve in the first place!

Part 1 of 3 = Projecting Confidence

1.Have confident body language. The way you hold yourself speaks volumes about you – long before you even get a chance to open your mouth. Keep your shoulders squared and your chin up. Avoid fidgeting (put your hands in your pockets if you must) or covering your mouth when you speak. Look people in the eye when you speak to indicate that you don't intend to be brushed off.

• Try not to be easy to read, especially if you are nervous or uncertain. Hide your “tells” by controlling your hands, feet, and facial expressions so that they don’t betray your emotions.
• If making eye contact is a problem, practice with sunglasses and then work up to doing it barefaced. If you must avert your gaze, look off into the distance as if in thought, not down.
• Even if you are nervous or confused, you can still act confident. There's no shame in asking questions.

2.Speak slowly and clearly. Rushing when you talk is an admission that you don’t expect people to take the time to listen. Speaking slowly, on the other hand, will indicate to people that you’re worth the wait. Use a clear, calm voice. You don't need to be loud, but you do need to make yourself heard.

• If people aren't noticing you, say "Excuse me" clearly and firmly. Don’t be apologetic when you haven’t done anything wrong; it will communicate to people that you feel slightly embarrassed just for existing.
• Try to be concise when you speak. Even the most confident person in the world will lose their audience if they don’t make their point soon enough.
• Keep your suggestion or point short and sweet -- long enough to say everything you need to say, but not so long that you feel like you're rambling or getting away from the main point.
• Avoid saying um or like as much as you can when you're trying to make a strong statement. Make a conscious effort to get these words out of your vocabulary.

3.Work on your appearance. Shallow though it may be, people make snap judgments based on your appearance. People who are naturally confident and charismatic can change others’ minds, but the rest of us aren’t so lucky. If you're wearing clothes that look like you've just got out of bed, or if you wear a pound of make-up with fluffy high-heels, the average person won't take you seriously. On the other hand, if you look like you're ready to get things done, people will tend to be more respectful.

• Dressing well doesn’t necessarily mean dressing up. If you’re the naturally casual sort, focus on having clean, matching, unwrinkled clothes with no embarrassing slogans or inappropriate images.
• Going to the supermarket in sandals, socks, basketball shorts, and a ripped turtleneck, on the other hand, is an invitation for ridicule, even if you think you look just fine.
• Making an effort to be serious about your appearance will make it look like you're more serious about your demands.

4..Rehearse what you're going to say. This may sound silly, but if you want to project confidence, then you should sound firm and decisive when the moment comes. What better way to get there than to practice? You can practice in front of the mirror, into a recording, or even with a trusted friend, pretending he or she is your boss, significant other, or whomever you plan to speak with.

• When the moment comes, remember how confident you sounded when you were just rehearsing, and work to sound even more confident when it counts.

• 
  

Editing Be Assertive Without Being Rude

There are many ways to be assertive without being rude. This is one of them.
[[Category:Assertiveness & Self Esteem]]

== Steps ==
=== Assertiveness Help ===
[[Doc:Assertive Responses,Assertiveness Tips and Tricks]]
=== Being Assertive Without Being Rude ===
# Be direct and make your points clear. This is basically the first step. Don't sugarcoat things and state the facts as they are.<br><br>[[Image:Be Assertive Without Being Rude Step 1.jpg|center|550px]]
#  Be polite while stating your points. '''Never''' make personal insults and speak with a kind and gentle voice.<br><br>[[Image:Be Assertive Without Being Rude Step 2.jpg|center|550px]]
#* For example, if someone asks you to do something you generally don't wish to do, just say a simple "no thank you" or "no thanks". These are polite, formal ways to decline a task. Additionally, you could apologize that you weren't able to help, or recommend that they should visit someone you know who could assist them.
#* Keep your voice loud enough to hear, but make sure it is at a calm and peaceful pitch. Yelling is often considered rude, especially in a public area.
#* Allow the other person to share her side of the story first, and then you may share your side.


== Tips ==

KENDURI 2013

Feast 3 in one held succesfully on 24th of october ...kesyukuran, akikah n tahlil memperingati  arwah ibu mertua datuk n nenekku...jumlah tetamu dianggarkan 200 org dgan 2 ekor kambing n 2 bahagian lembu ...alhamdulilah berkat solat hajat dan doa ke hadrat ilahi..perjalanan majlis berjalan lancar.Semua orang memuji kelazatan gulai kambing...di mana agak sukar sedikit utk memasak kambing yang mmerlumkan ketelitian ketika menyembelih dan peringkat akhir memasaknya...credit to k.min aka jiran n best fren my mom...sebenarnya kepuasan memasak itu sangatlah hebat dibandingkan catering...

Details of the expenses...
1. kambing-rm950
2.lembu-rm1000
3.ayam 25 ekor-rm200
4.sayur acar-timun,carrot,bwg-rm200
5.santan, rempah-rm100
6.khemah,alat catering,kerusi-rm500
7.kad jemputan -rm200
8.sisa-rm500

JUMLAH=RM3700...DGN JEMPUTAN SERAMAI 200++ORG

NEW CAR ON THE ROAD...

after raya got tis new present! walaweh ...my dream car ever..DCH 1776....MUAHH thank you dear!...dah lama ngidam keta import...huhu...at the age of 37 and confirmed DG44...baru dapat...hehe..this car is for the purpose of work only...jenjln ngan cik abe ...adooii..teruk betul kebergantungan...

Percutian D Port Dickson =)

Marvelous ! Its been a year and my family get away to Port Dickson to have our vacation in year 2012